How to plan a dowry (ruracio) ceremony: a simple checklist

Start with a family conversation

Before booking anything, talk with the families about the ceremony’s expectations. Ask who should be involved in planning, what traditions the families wish to observe, and which decisions need to be made together. Avoid assuming that one family’s approach will suit another.

It can help to choose one or two people from each side to coordinate updates. They can share agreed information, collect questions and help prevent small misunderstandings from growing. Keep the conversation respectful, and give family members time to discuss decisions that are important to them.

Agree on the date and guest list

Once the families have discussed the ceremony, agree on a date that works for the key participants. Consider how much time you will need to prepare and whether guests may be travelling. If the date is flexible, identify a couple of options before confirming.

Talk through the guest list early. You do not need a final headcount immediately, but a rough idea helps with venue, seating and catering plans. Make a list of the people the families expect to invite, then confirm how invitations or updates will be shared. Keep a note of responses as they come in.

Set priorities and share responsibilities

Discuss the overall budget with the people who will contribute or make decisions. Decide what is essential, what is optional and who will handle each agreed expense. The aim is not to follow a particular formula; it is to make expectations clear and avoid surprises.

Write down decisions as you make them. A shared checklist can record the task, the person responsible and a target date. If plans change, update the list and let the relevant people know. Separate family decisions from supplier arrangements so each question reaches the right person.

Choose the venue and practical setup

Consider where the ceremony will take place and what the setting needs to support. Think about guest arrival, seating, shade or shelter, access for deliveries and the space available for the activities the families have agreed on. Ask the host or venue what arrangements are permitted.

If you are considering a tent and chairs, estimate the likely guest count and discuss the event layout before choosing. Events by Jen offers a large tent for up to 100 guests and a medium tent for up to 50, with matching chairs available. Share your expected attendance and any extra space needs so the arrangement can be discussed. Delivery depends on your location.

Choose a theme that feels right

Once the practical arrangements are taking shape, think about the colours and atmosphere you would like. Share a few reference photos rather than trying to copy every detail from a different venue. A backdrop, draping and table styling can be coordinated around your preferences while keeping the ceremony itself at the centre of the day.

Keep the programme clear and flexible

Ask the families which parts of the day they want to include and who should lead or participate in them. Traditions are not the same in every family, so avoid relying on generic checklists for cultural details. Confirm the order with the people involved, and leave some breathing room in the schedule.

Share the agreed programme with the host, coordinators and suppliers who need it. Appoint someone to communicate updates on the day. In the days before the ceremony, review the guest estimate, seating, supplier access and directions, and check who will welcome guests.

Make space for what matters

A checklist should serve the families rather than dictate how the ceremony must be conducted. Keep communication open, ask when you are unsure, and allow the people involved to make decisions that reflect their wishes. With the practical details organised, everyone can focus on sharing the day together.

Based in Kiserian, Events by Jen styles events across Kajiado County and parts of Nairobi. Send your date, venue, guest estimate and styling ideas on WhatsApp to discuss your setup and request an individual quote.